Emotional Loneliness: How to Deal like a Pro! | Life

Getting out of emotional loneliness can be highly challenging. If you don't feel connected to your friends and people around you, you might connect with me through this article.

How to deal with Emotional Loneliness

Let us start by understanding what is loneliness all about?

Loneliness is usually the state of being alone either, physically or emotionally. While it takes very little time and effort to get surrounded by people, getting out of that feeling of emptiness roaring inside you can be highly challenging. If you don't feel connected to your friends and people around you, you might connect with me through this article.

Image of a sad girl sitting in her bedroom hugging a giant stuffed teddy bear

Having many followers on social media and hundreds of contacts on your phone, yet finding no one suitable to call and share your feelings hits different. You might be familiar with this feeling if you have fallen into the trap of preferring quantity over quality. It's time to think if your friends are real and if they care for you or just pretend to care. Today's society forces you to go with numbers. The more people you know, the more things you do, the better you are. We are busy thinking about what makes us look good for others and finally become the version of ourselves that people demand. That's why many of us don't feel that sense of belonging, taking us to the island of loneliness and self-doubt in no time. To know the difference between a True Friend and a Toxic Friend, Click Here!

Sail back to the land of happiness and content within you!

Image of a man standing in a ship looking towards distant lands

If you are someone suffering from emotional loneliness and despair, it's time to return to your homeland. The land where love, happiness, and care grow everywhere. That is the place where your soul resides. Don't assume you are alone in this venture. There are many of us going through the same situation that connects us through the magical string of deepest emotions. We are together in this ship that sails to happiness, freedom, existence, power, and self-love. Resisting all the storms and rough winds that come our way, we will cross the waters and reach our destination. So, get ready for the voyage!

How to overcome emotional isolation?

Given below are some of the ways that helped me overcome emotional loneliness. Hope you find them useful too!

Question your own feelings

A lot of discussions are already happening on the topic of loneliness. Most of them give ready-made solutions like - finding a new hobby, opening up to people around, staying positive, etc... I believe these alone can't stop you from feeling lonely. The feeling of isolation is generated from within. It's generally caused by self-doubt and insecurity. Start with questioning your insecurities. Ask questions like, Why do I feel this way? What are my insecurities? What stops me from expressing myself? Why do I always try to fit in?

Before you open up to someone...

While people are asked to be more open about their feelings, opening up to the wrong person can get you more depressed and alienated than before. I am not trying to be pessimistic here, but it's the reality, so let's face it. You must share your feelings with the right person at the right time. In today's world, many people are happy to know your weaknesses and insecurities and use them for their own benefit. The worst part is that it's hard to identify those toxic spirits around you. So by the time you realise it, it might be too late, and things have already gone out of your hands. Opening up to others comes with the added risk of not meeting the expected comfort and solace. This is where emotional self-sufficiency comes to play. Want to know How to Heal from a Toxic Relationship? Read More.

Towards emotional autonomy

Image of a girl in blue gown walking freely in greenery

There is no one more powerful than an emotionally independent person. Emotional liberation is not about staying strong and keeping all your problems to yourself. It's more about discovering your issues and trying to find yourself the best possible solution. Only you know what suits you the best because nobody knows what you are going through like you do.

To enjoy the luxuries that emotional independence gives, first build a bridge that connects you with your inner self. Make sure it is broad and enduring because it's the passage for all the traffic from you to your heart and vice versa. So once you start communicating and taking care of yourself, you are liberated from a load of expectations you have from others and your relationship with others becomes a choice, not a necessity. This makes you self-sufficient and helps you create meaningful inter-relationships.

Let me give you an example. Expecting your partner to fulfil your emotional needs makes you prone to disappointment and isolation even from the slightest behavioural changes from their side. Here your relationship isn't based on love and understanding. You are just utilising that person for your emotional fulfilment, preventing you from seeing the situation from your partner's point of view. These things make you feel isolated more than ever. The same thing applies to all your correspondences. Whether you have people or not, your mind should always be a busy place with a lot of positivity and self-love.

Keeping your mind busy

Keeping yourself and your mind busy all the time is the ultimate solution to get rid of loneliness. Invest in doing what you truly love rather than going behind the trends and making others like you. The confidence you have in yourself opens up to a large spectrum of opportunities to get occupied with and meet people with similar interests. You have the power to be free and do whatever makes you happy!

Dealing with Denials

Image of a sad girl cupping her hands to her face and two boys mockingly looking at her

Rejections are good as they lead you to the right people with whom you can connect. Also, don't shy away from walking out of everything that destroys your peace of mind. Emotional loneliness is caused by a lack of connectivity with others. This happens when the people around you fail to appreciate and accept the wonderful person you are. Basically, they are rejecting the uniqueness of your personality. Instead of holding on to such relationships and changing yourself to the person they appreciate, be bold enough to stand your ground and stay comfortable with your true self. The level of discomfort you feel while trying to someone else is beyond words.

My experiences

Image of a young girl lying in bed holding her personal diary close to her heart

I have never been comfortable sharing my personal experiences. Since I feel my experiences would make you understand that we are together in this venture of overcoming emotional loneliness, I have walked a little bit out of my comfort zone and summarized my experiences below.

I had a group of toxic friends who judged me for everything I did, even for the things that didn't bother them at all!. They would literally give me guidelines for how to behave and with whom to talk. Voicing my opinions and doing things my own way always ended up in chaos and aggression. Therefore I hushed my thoughts and opposition to maintain a peaceful atmosphere. In fact, I was afraid to share my feelings with them and felt emotionally abandoned. Despite all the struggles to stay calm, my heart doesn't cooperate when it can't handle the pressure.

My suppressed anger and frustration often burst out as tears in front of them. Still, they made no effort from their side to understand my emotions. Later on, I mastered the art of hiding my feelings and started acting happy around them. Everyone saw me as a happy teenager having a good time with her friends. Little did they know about the sense of isolation and emotional trauma that I was going through. Those days I either ended up crying myself to bed or staying up all night, with my temperature gone high, apprehensive about dealing with them the next day. Things had already gone out of my control by the time I realised the toxicity of their friendship. Yet, I am happy that I finally dared to cut that friendship off my life.

Today I am a more mature and emotionally independent person who finds happiness in everything I do. Though I have lost a few people in my life, I never feel lonely because I am too busy loving myself and chasing everything I love.

Emotional loneliness is potentially capable of disturbing your mental health and peace. Therefore it's crucial to get out of it before it takes away all your happiness in life. I believe, with courage and perseverance, you can easily overcome it and live your life to the fullest.

~Yours Priyanka Joy

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