Author: Trishita Gupta
There are a few tips which you must know, to make yourself more confident and happier by avoiding the negativity in your life which has come into your life in the form of a toxic friend. You must know the differences between the two in order to lead a peaceful life. So how do we know the difference between a real and a toxic friend?
1. Support
A good friend is someone who has your back, no matter what. They watch out for you and ensure that you are not in danger and give you support. Do you have a friend who supported you at the lowest point of your life? If you have then that means you are with a good one. The toxic ones will never support you unless and until they find benefit in helping you. They only need you for their selfishness. They do not even care about anything that happens or bothers you. They suck out everything from you and in return all you get is sadness.
2. Good listener
Good friends have patience for you and listen to you. They wouldn't mind listening to you even for hours and generally care about your well being because they genuinely miss you and love your presence around them but the toxic friends do not care. They only look out for themselves and measure their friendship by what they can gain from you. They look at it as a kind of a business deal. The bitter truth is, the decision or actions of a toxic friend are made mostly based on their ego.
3. Being Helpful
Toxic friends only take, demand a lot, and only give a little. Do you know anyone who's always calculating when it comes to helping you out even if you've helped them many times? Every time they help you, they expect some favor in return. They might even make you feel guilty when you're unable to help them! You must be cautious and stay away from them because it is toxic to you. A true friend will always be your side and help you with no demand and never measure the good things they have done for you.
4. The Trustworthy one
Truth is the root and foundation for every relationship, and in the case of friendship, you can see good friends are always trustworthy and accept you for who you are. They are true from the bottom of their heart and will share their secrets while protecting yours. Do you have a friend who confides in you? Do they feel you are trustworthy and you would do the same for them? Then don't worry, you are in the ambit of true friendship. But the toxic ones are never truthful to you as they praise you in your face and stab you on the back. These kind of friends are known as two-faced friends, they say nice things in front of you but gossip on you behind your back without your knowledge. You must be cautious and keep finding about such friends and keep them away.
5. Acceptance
The acceptance of one another in any kind of relationship makes things easier to understand, in friendship, it becomes the most important thing as true friends will always accept you for who you are, you never have to change for them nor they will let you. On the other hand, a toxic friend always says sugar-coated things, they are dishonest and only say things that you want to hear, and they gossip about you in your back. As they never accept you and always be judgmental about you.
6. The Helper of making the decision
A good friend will always be the person you think of making any decisions. They are always listening to you and give you good opinions as much as possible to themselves and always want the best for you. But a toxic friend won't stop you from making a regretful decision, even if they were aware of the consequences. They often had weak morale, for example, even when things go wrong, they show you not to take ownership of your wrongdoings.
7. The Maturity and Responsibility: - Good friends are always mature and responsible, they guide you on the right path. They always earnestly listen to you and try to understand where you are coming from. The conversations you have with few friends can sometimes be very deep. To find whether someone is a good friend ask yourself do they often respond when you talk to them about your problems? Are they patient and empathetic or are they bored or indifferent?
In the case of a toxic friend, they are reckless and immature. They recklessly involve you in situations that make you uncomfortable and regret later on such as getting drunk in an unsafe situation or putting you in a situation you always need to lie!
Good friends are always compassionate to you and others. They are understanding and caring, for example when you are stressed or struggling to cope with your mental health they become supportive and follow your peace of getting better. And when you share your success or happiness they congratulate and celebrate and when you are grieving about a loss they will be there for you. Good friends do only defend your name when you're not around but also encourage others about your good qualities.
On the other hand toxic friends give you false hope and impression. 'They talk the talk but don't walk the walk' in other words they make false promises that they won't keep.
With these suggestions asked yourself, Have you ever met someone who always boasts about their past good deeds or achievement? If yes don't take her for granted even if they add in between apologies for seeming baggy! To spot a toxic friend like this asked for a similar favor or promise they made in the past and see how they respond! Do they back out on you by giving excuses or they follow through with that initially preached?
Do any of the points mentioned above remind you of someone? Do you have a good friend or a toxic friend? Or do you Identify being with a good or toxic friend?
Remember one thing no one is perfect! What matters that we learn and become a better version of ourselves!!
- Yours Trishita Gupta
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