Toxic Positivity : Know Everything about Toxic Positivity to deal with it!

 Toxic Positivity, an interesting new Social Disease that is always around us and is harmful. Know how to deal with Toxic Positivity with Lifenatphil's interesting article on dealing with Toxic Positivity.

Toxic Positivity - The Actual Meaning

Toxic Positivity is something we could do without even noticing it. As human beings, it is acceptable for us to feel angry, sad, betrayed, and such, as life is not always being kind to us. This is the point where we usually keep thinking in our mind, “let’s just stay positive”, “it will pass by''. Or you go to the internet and search for uplifting quotes to give us a sense of comfort. But when it is being done in excess, positivity can become toxic.

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What actually is Toxic Positivity?

Examples of Toxic Positivity

Check for Signs of it in you

How bad it can be?

The truth is that we are not perfect in every way. We are human. We make mistakes.

And, it is okay for us to have negative emotions and not to always have to be positive!

And so, what is it?

Well, basically toxic positivity is when we are too obsessed to always think positively, it is a false reassurance. Where we believe people should remain positive, no matter how difficult the current situation may be. This can lead to the denial and devaluation of actual human emotional experience as well as a sense of disconnection.

One of the characteristics of people with toxic positivity is always forcing positive thinking as the only solution to problems. This person also demands that one avoid negative thoughts or express negative emotions.

Research around positive thinking has generally focused on the benefits of having an optimistic outlook when things go wrong. However demanding continuous positive thinking from a person regardless of the challenges they face, can potentially 'silence' emotions and prevent them from seeking social support.

Toxic positivity involves dismissing negative emotion and responding to distress with false reassurance rather than empathy. ~ UW Medicine

Some examples of toxic positivity behaviour

1. When people are having a bad day and you tell them that “those bad things happen for a reason”
2. When people lose their child, and you tell them that “at least you can have children again”
3. You push people and yourself to see the positive side and completely ignore the negative emotions.
4. Tell people that “it may be even worse”
5. Assuming that people who are not sharing their emotion is considered as a strong individual.

See if you have the signs of toxic positivity

These are some common expressions of toxic positivity, ask yourself do you see yourself having some toxic positivity?

1. Are you used to masking or hiding your actual feelings?
2. Are you used to just getting on with it or just following the flow by burring and dismissing a negative emotion?
3. Are you ashamed of the emotions that you are feeling?
4. Are you always saying or thinking “this might be worse” to yourself and/or others, instead of acknowledging and accepting emotional experiences?
5. Are you always saying or thinking “this is what it is” or “just accept it as it is” when things are disturbing you?

How bad can toxic positivity be anyway?

At a glance, the general positivity might not look harmful to the individual. But when people start to think that they have to be positive all the time and ignore some important signs of actual health problems.

1. Embarrassed of your own emotion

Just because you do not want to be seen as fragile, weak, or a drag for other people, you choose to bury your emotion. Force to have a positive attitude on negative emotion is what makes people keep quiet about their hardship.

And silence is one source of shame. Shame could be the reason for hiding, secret, and denial.

2. Low self-esteem and communication issues

Of course, every individual has gone through challenges in their relationship and negative emotions during their life. Toxic positivity came to encourage individuals to ignore the challenges for them to face their relationship problems. It also encourages them to avoid their negative emotion not to be seen as weak. People go through and overcome their negative emotions by acknowledging them. Which may make them even more powerful.

Often people choose to ignore, why? It is the easiest way. However, they also choose to not grow by ignoring it.

3. Hiding your actual emotion

When we choose to hide our emotions by saying or thinking “this is what it is”, we deny the truth that life hurts us once in a while. Several studies have shown that by hiding our own emotions, people who suppress their emotions just like nothing is happening put stress on our bodies. Repressed emotions can later manifest themselves as anxiety, depression, even physical illness. Regulating our emotions into motion can help us to maintain our physical health as well as mental health.

It is important to validate or acknowledge the truth of our emotions by regulating them. Embrace our good and our flaws. That is what makes us stay sane.

4. Isolation

When we choose to ignore the truth of our emotions, we start to isolate ourselves from the world. Toxic positivity arises when we think of a “positive attitude only”. And makes you start to think “I only want to get involved with certain people ''. If you cannot be honest with your emotions, then how can you accept other people's emotions? The people who are expressing their actual feelings with you?

Sometimes people that seem tough on the outside, are people that need affection the most. Just like a teddy bear who giving you a hug.

How to avoid toxic positivity?

There are some ways to avoid toxic positivity. And they are,
Validating negative emotions as normal and an important part of the human experience
Start to share your own emotion with people you trust, be more open
seeking support from nonjudgmental people, such as trusted friends or a therapist

Summary

In the end, toxic positivity makes us ignore the negative emotion surrounding us and limit our human experiences. Forcing someone to express only positive emotions can stifle their ability to communicate and make them feel bad about themself for having negative thoughts. 

 

~ Venina Maharani P

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